There Goes The Fear

Here it comes again. Waves of negative thoughts crashing over me like a sea heavy with oil. Slowly leaving a thick sediment of regret and a residue of dispare on my skin. I lay on the floor all day staring at the ceiling, sometimes I’d stare at the phone ringing. Unable to move,  the only indication that time was moving was the slowly changing light in my room. I eventually got up off the floor and took sanctuary here. No one can see me. No one can see my unkempt manner or dress.

I will remain here. In this room until the feeling passes. Next door is the loft space – wooden timbers stretch across, the perfect place to attatch a noose. Not that I’d do that – it just amazes me how I muse about such things with indifference. Much like a man choosing shoes, I ponder what would be the best method to snuff it.

~ by idledown on November 30, 2006.